Camp Yaoi
by 7andthefluff
Summary: Boys will do boys...
1. Chapter 1

**Hello Internet, AnimePirate223 and I wrote this fic… you should be afraid… and yes another story to take up updates! XD C&C/R&R**

Naruto looked out the window of the moving car. He looked at the city disappearing behind him; the buildings making room for the trees. "I don't think we're in Konoha, Toto" Naruto said to Gaara, who just gave Naruto a look. "What, haven't you seen the Wizard of Oz?" Gaara started laughing "Why do you think I would ever see that?" Gaara had been watching horror movies since, well, no one could remember when he _hadn't_, and even his siblings couldn't. "Hey Naruto," The blonde looked at the red head driving, "I want to play a game," Gaara said with a mischievous and slightly evil look. "Sure Gaara" The blonde boy stated gleefully. The red head mentally face-palmed, of course the blonde hadn't seen Saw, and therefore wouldn't get it; Naruto rarely watched horror movies. "Oh, and Gaara," The redhead raised a nonexistent eyebrow, "I lost the game." This was going to be a long car ride.

"Are we there yet?" Naruto asked.

"Naruto, you've been asking for the last 3 hours!" Gaara replied ready to snap the blonde's neck.

"I think we just passed it."

"Holy -beep- on a mother -beeping- sammich"

Naruto and Gaara stepped out of the Porsche and were immediately accosted by an overenthusiastic older man in green Lycra bike shorts. The creepy man proceeded to talk some mumbo jumbo about the glories of youth. Unfortunately, he was bouncing around as he gave his odd speech, the spandex shorts revealing all. As if the creepy image wasn't bad enough, some weird old dude in the bushes snapped a picture. Were they at the right place? This didn't sound like the epic camp that Gaara's older brother, Kankuro, had told them about. As the counselor's movements grew more spastic, Naruto and Gaara exchanged a glance. Both nodding, they immediately turned and ran for their lives toward the main building, not knowing they were heading for the wrong camp.

They bounded up onto the porch, banging the heavy wood door open, running into two people on the other side. As Naruto and Gaara backed away, Naruto doing most of the apologizing, the two slightly older boys exchanged a very odd glance. One of them was a dark-haired, dark-eyed boy whose hair resembled a duck's butt, while the other had pale eyes and long feminine brown hair. "Watch where you're going, dobe," the raven addressed the blonde. ""Shut it teme," Naruto retorted. The brunette with the feminine hair smirked a smirk which could only be classified as evil, odd-colored eyes on Gaara. The darker haired boy gave his friend a look, then smirked that same smirk of evilness.

Kakashi looked up from his book and saw something that worried him; Neji and Sasuke were interacting with students from the other camp. That could only be classified as an accident waiting to happen. Snapping his inappropriate book shut and tucking it into a shirt pocket, he calmly walked over. He was too cool to run. However, that didn't apply to his stalker/assistant, Iruka, who ran after Kakashi, flailing his arms in a way that resembled a drunken chicken.

"What's happening?" The silver haired man asked, one eyebrow raised. "Shouldn't you two be at your own camp?" Naruto and Gaara exchanged glances before apologizing. "Sorry." Naruto said, confused as usual. "We didn't know this was another camp. We were running from our… counselor." The blonde's eyes glazed over and Gaara started to twitch as they recalled the graphic torture their counselor had unwittingly put them through. "That's completely understandable; Gai has… issues, extreme and horrible issues." The rival camp's counselor stated. "But I do need to insist that, for your own safety, you go back to your own camp. Gai, while mentally unstable, is still safer. Trust me." The masked man insisted with a glare at Sasuke and Neji. "You two, you should know better. Go to the box." Pouting, the two boys stepped into a cardboard box in the corner. Immediately, they were pelted with random objects by their fellow campers, murderous gleams in their eyes. Kakashi, ducking a hairbrush that had bounced off of Sasuke's head and snatching a machete out of the hands of a camper who was preparing to throw it, made a shooing motion at Naruto and Gaara. "Do you see what I mean? Go on, before you get yourselves killed."

The boys walked back to where they originally were. Making sure no green-clad weirdos were around, they walked into what they assumed to be the cabin. Naruto hoped onto an unoccupied top bunk, and Gaara snagged the bed underneath it. Gaara always needed to be bottom bunk due to the fact that he has a habit of rolling in his sleep. The boys went back to the car to get their abandoned things, trying to keep the creeper in the bushes from taking another photo, and marked their beds. Gaara looked with an evil gleam in his eye at the spiked club plushie he had packed, an evil idea popping into his mind. He grabbed the stuffed club and hit Naruto with it, hard enough to knock him off the bunk. Naruto saw little birdies doing the caramelldansen blinding his vision and blanked out. Gaara stared for a moment, then nudged his unconscious friend under the bed and began whistling innocently. The green spandex wearing weirdo approached Gaara with a confused look on his face, "Where is your youthful companion?" he asked the red head. "Uhhhh, I don't speak English?" Gaara said questioning his excuse and hoping his bad impression of a Spanish accent fooled the counselor. "What a wonderful Nigerian accent you have." Gaara just smiled nervously, wondering just how many mental illnesses Gai has.

Naruto awoke several minutes later, pissed at Gaara. The blonde would've gotten his revenge except he was stuck, and there was a spider; he hates spiders. "Gaara, get me outta here!" Naruto screamed, terrified of the spider. Gaara laughed, but then his lips were assaulted by a boy with cropped black hair and black eyes. The man pulled his lips away and smiled; Gaara blushed as red as his hair. "Gaara, what's going on? Is everything okay? Gaara help I'm stuck!" Gaara looked under the bed and looked at the struggling blonde; when he looked back up, the boy was gone; Curiouser and Curiouser as Alice in Wonderland would say.

Sasuke and Neji were sitting in the on Sasuke's bed, making small talk. "So Hyuuga see any ass you'd like to tap?" "That red headed one with the eyeliner looks fun. What about you Uchiha?" Neji questioned his best friend. "His blonde friend looks fuck-able" Something passed between the two friends. "How 'bout we make this interesting, Uchiha, we see who can get their Uke first. You try for that blonde I get the emo redhead." Neji suggested. "Sounds like fun." The Uchiha replied, for once interested in something. The friends shook on it; this was going to be interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

Itachi walked into his brother's cabin. Much to his horror his younger brother and Neji were plotting something; this could not be good. "What are you guys up to?" The older Uchiha asked, fearing the answer. As he noticed the look in their eyes, he changed his mind. He didn't want to know. "Uh… Never mind," he said, shaking his head. "Good choice Itachi, that's probably better for your sanity." Itachi's best friend, Kisame, said. Despite the glares Itachi decided to ask a question to which he really did want the answer, "How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?"

They were suddenly interrupted by a rappping on the doorframe. As they turned to look, Kakashi poked his head in. "Tomorrow we go to the other camp for a… competition… thing…" Kakashi announced with a rather pained expression, not looking forward to having to deal with Gai for an entire day. As the campers nodded, Kakashi turned to go announce to the rest of the cabins. "And Sasuke, Neji." The two boys looked up innocently. "Whatever you're plotting, stop it."

It was 4AM when the overenthusiastic jolly green giant burst into the room, announcing something about youth and some sort of contest no one cared about at 4 in the ****** morning! Deidara, one of the campers who had arrived later last night, threw something at Gai; Gaara and Naruto instantly liked him after that. When Gai tried to wake Suigetsu, another latecomer, he mumbled something that sounded like "Go drown in the lake," but to Gai it sounded something like "ALL HAIL THE POWERS OF YOUTH!" The campers came to realize that hearing troubles could also be added to the list of the many things wrong with Gai.

As Gai insisted on an early morning jog around the camp; things were thrown at him, sharp, pointed things. Using teamwork, they locked Gai out of the cabin and went back to sleep, well except for Gaara; Gaara never slept, unless it was influenced by alcohol, and yes he was under age.

Gai found another way in to the cabin at 8, but this time he actually gave them information that does not consist of the powers of youth. One of the important things was that it was probably a good idea to get up since the guys from the other camp would be there sometime soon. The only one who was concerned was Deidara who cared too much about his hair.

The Semes' were late, well that did make sense due to that fact that Kakashi is there consoler. Deidara was threatening to make something explode if he had to wait five more minutes; Suigetsu was helping with the just general threats he was sending at Gai. No one likes Gai; except his creepy intern/mini me, Lee. As Deidara was working together an explosive, the Semes finally appeared, Sasuke and Neji among them, eyes on Naruto and Gaara. "Um, Gaara, What's up with those two?" Naruto asked, nudging his friend. "Dunno…" Gaara muttered, keeping a watchful eye on those two while also giving them the standard Gaara Glare ™. "WELCOME!" Gai bellowed suddenly, bouncing down the steps of the counselor's cabin, lunging toward Kakashi and shaking his hand so hard the rival camp's counselor was nearly yanked off his feet. "Um. Hello, Gai..." Kakashi murmured unenthusiastically, trying to detach his hand from Gai's painful grip.

"Are you ready, campers?" Gai asked, ignoring the handful of rude remarks, "Today's challenge is" He took a dramatic pause, "a DANCE OFF" Gai then burst out into sporadic dance moves, that look more like the famous Golden Eye glitch.


	3. Chapter 3

The campers stared in horror at Gai's horrendous dancing. For a few long moments, the camp was filled with terrified silence. Deidara held up a homemade explosive, looking toward the rest of the campers questioningly. "Please let me use this, un!" The majority of the campers nodded frantically. Deidara grinned. Before he could throw the bomb, however, and end their disturbed counselor's reign of terror, Kakashi interfered. He walked over to Gai and stared for a few long moments, expression unreadable. "Gai?" he finally muttered. "YES, my rival?" Kakashi shook his head. "I don't think so." A sigh of relief went up around the camp.  
"Then what do you suggest we do, my friend?" Gai asked in an amiable, sickeningly cheerful tone, blessedly stopping his… dance. Kakashi looked up, visible eye wide. "Ah… Um... I…" He stalled, trying desperately to think of an alternative. "Why don't we have… a... frog catching… contest?..." He stammered uncertainly.  
A cheer went up around the camp. Anything was better than watching Gai dance for an extended period of time. The two camps split up and scattered, without waiting for any rules.  
Kakashi watched them go, blinking.  
"Don't eat the frogs!" he called after, and then opened his book.

Sasuke was watching the blonde idiot; it was obvious that Naruto was the one who was the best at the frog catching. Personally, Sasuke wasn't the best one at catching it, not that he would admit it. He did think of a way to help the cause, after all, Kakashi sensei never said there were rules… well besides the not eating the frogs… but who would want to do that any way. Sasuke pulled out some fire crackers, and lit the small red fuse with a lighter he shouldn't have had. BOOM! They exploded. Naruto went to investigate the explosion, thinking Deidara did something he shouldn't have. He stepped into the clearing and was greeted by the smirking raven he met last night.  
The raven approached the weirded out blonde, like a predator examining its prey. Sasuke captured the blonde's wrists, pinning him to a tree. Their bodies were pressed against each other, and Sasuke started kissing and sucking on Naruto's neck. He started moving upward, when the raven reached Naruto's ear he nipped it, causing Naruto to moan in pleasure. Sasuke's tongue danced around the ear, and played with Naruto's piercing. He smirked when Naruto started to moan more. Sasuke continued on his way to Naruto's lips. He licked Naruto's jaw line and kissed the moaning blonde's chin. His teeth grazed Naruto's lower lip causing the blonde to moan against his will. Sasuke started sucking on Naruto the side of his lips, torturing the moaning uke. Finally, after many almost kisses', Sasuke kissed Naruto full on the lips. The raven's hands started exploring Naruto's body, one of his hands pulling on the blonde's hair the other playing with one of Naruto's back belt loop.

Meanwhile, Itachi and Kisame were catching frogs by river with nets that they conveniently had. They were putting the caught frogs in a Styrofoam container, like the ones used to put fish in. It was interesting to say the least. To see two usually serious people acting like spazzs', falling into water, splashing each other, and generally acting like idiots. Neji was also catching some… but he was having issues keeping them. Basically, he was failing epically. After diving across the muddy floor for another time, in attempt to get another frog; he hoped the others were doing better than him. The thing that sends the stoic semes acting like this is the punishments. They were usually humiliating and brutal, such as dressing up in tiny miniskirts; the horror. No one will willingly do them… thankfully, Gai and Lee have been banned from them, because them in risqué costumes is a sight no one wants to see, and is punishment for all witnesses.

Deidara, Suigetsu, and Sai were hopelessly searching for frogs, they weren't foolish enough to separate from their group knowing that the semes were lurking. But just because they banded together for survival purposes, didn't mean that they had to get along. Deidara was trying to convince his companions that art does not last, and they tried, and failed, to ignore him. Sai, personally, was wishing that his paintings could come to life, if just for the purpose to attack and kill Deidara. Suigetsu was tempted to leave the group and search for the two who didn't know what kind of camp this was, but changed his mind; he would keep a good prank going.

Kakashi was reading his book, when he heard a terrified scream. He shrugged; sounds like they're having fun.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

At the appointed time, the campers slowly emerged from the woods, hair disheveled with mud and plants seemingly permanently attached to them. Well, all but two, Sasuke and Naruto were squeaky clean compared to the others, their clothes were oddly arranged, and Naruto's signature orange hoodie was on backwards. Sasuke was smirking and Naruto was blushing a bright red, which was now Sasuke's favorite color.  
"Okay, uh lets see the frogs?" Kakashi more of questioned, looking up from the good part of his book to look at the campers; he smiled a perverted smile when he looked at Sasuke and Naruto. Naruto saw the smile the masked man had and his blush deepened; he was blushing like Bella Swan… not that he read Twilight or anything… well his 10th grade English teacher made him… but it wasn't on his own will or anything.  
Kakashi looked at the frogs; well frog. There was only one caught. "The Semes win. Ukes you get KP, oh and the costumes are already ready." Naruto and Gaara were confused by this; they never knew anything about that. Their teammates looked mortified on the other hand; the Semes were smiling evil smiles of evilness. "Report to the dining hall at 6," The masked man addressed the Ukes as an afterthought.

Naruto looked at the garment in horror; he had though they had just had KP or Kitchen Patrol. He didn't know about the catch, and was utterly horrified. "Why do I have to wear this?" Naruto questioned for the umpteenth time. "Because we lost," Suigetsu answered pissed. Naruto sighed, stupid teme, he thought, why did distract me. "And you get to wear the worse one, because you and your boyfriend decided to have a make out session!" Deidara piped in happily. "Fine," Naruto said and grabbed the skimpy French maid's uniform.

Naruto hated this already, and this was the easy part.


End file.
